Journey

We left our home on January 9, 2015 having failed to sell it back to the Summit Mobile Home Park in West Hills, California. We put our furnishings in storage and started our journey in a 1992 33’ Coronado RV pulling my 22’ 1975 StarCraft cubby fishing boat.

Kathy waited with the car on the road at the top of the storage lot. I pulled through the gate and started up the steep one lane road that joined the storage lot with the main road.

I stopped beyond the gate on the steep grade to close the gate behind me. As I returned to drive up the hill, the RV I had named the Ark, stalled. I tried to start it many times without success. I noted that the fuel level was below 1/4 full and guessed that at the steep angle the Ark was sitting, no fuel was getting to the motor.

I walked up the steep grade to take the car to the gas station to put enough fuel in the Ark to get it up the hill. When I returned and opened the gas cap at the rear of the Ark, the fuel would not go into the tank. Instead, the fuel would drain out as fast as I was putting it in.

Being used to older vehicles such as Duke, my 1973 Chevy C-10 pickup truck, I attempted to put enough gas in the carburetor to get the vehicle to move a few feet up the road until I could level out on the road above so that the minimal fuel would again be in a position to feed the engine. With the inside center console called the doghouse up exposing the engine, I tried the key. A large flame shot up from the carburetor singeing the hair on my right arm. It then continued to burn the air filter with black smoke filling the RV and the fire growing.

I threw a baby blanket that was handy in the dog bed at the feet of the passenger seat on top of the fire to smother it. Instead, the blanket caught fire and I had to grab it and run it outside to burn by the side of the road until I stomped it out.

I ran back inside to find the fire still growing so I found a larger blanket to smother the fire and that worked. Even though the boat was behind me, I reopened the storage gate and attempted to back down the steep road to level land so I could put enough gas in to get up the hill. The Ark and boat would not back down. In neutral it just stayed locked and would not roll. I was stuck.

We had started our exodus from the Summit at 7PM and now it was 9:30 PM and I had traveled nearly 75 feet. I called AAA towing for help.

My tow-truck driver attempted to start the vehicle trying all manner of methods for about an hour. He eventually determined that the drive train was frozen. He told me he would have to disconnect the drive train by jacking up one side so he could work under the RV.

He explained that once he disconnected the drive train the wheels would be free to roll so I would have to hold the brake on the attached tow truck while he was under the RV or he might be crushed. I did and he wasn’t.

The AAA man disconnected the boat so he could pull the Ark to a local Walmart parking lot where we could get a mechanic out to fix our vehicle.

As we finally got the Ark to the top of the hill where Kathy was waiting, I went over to the car only to find Kathy behind the car on the ground where she had fallen and could not get herself up. With the help of the tow-truck driver we lifted her up and got her back into the car. Kathy was unhurt.

We towed the Ark to the back parking lot of the Walmart in Woodland Hills. The AAA driver then went back for the boat. When he returned with the boat in tow, he reconnected the drive train for us but warned that we should change the bolts when our mechanic came.

It was about 2 AM security came around and told us we were not allowed to park there. With the help of the tow-truck driver, we explained our situation and he said he would appreciate our leaving as soon as possible. About 2:30AM we were finished with all the towing issues and settled in to sleep through what was left of our night.

The next morning we called our mechanic and waited for a return call which came late in the evening. He advised that we would not have to change the bolts and should try driving and to call him if we had any other issues. We stayed the night again and left the following morning. No apparent problems appeared.

We arrived in Acton where our first Thousand Trails was located called Soledad Canyon. We stayed there and then arranged to get the truck, Duke, to be put in storage with the help of our daughter April and her husband, Carlos. Carlos and I hooked the boat up to Duke and put them both in storage at Soledad.

Late in December 2014, Kathy was diagnosed with mild dementia and some of the odd behavior she was exhibiting finally had an explanation. She was still mostly OK but had started to confuse things that happened long ago with things of the present.

Once a fiercely independent woman capable of doing anything she set her mind to, she was having difficulty operating a television connected to a DVD player or learning how to turn on the air conditioner. She could drive as well as usual – I would ride with her to monitor her level of driving expertise.

Since both of us were master instructors of driving at Teen Auto Club Driving School for many years, we had elevated skills that she had retained. Research tells us that with dementia, the highest skills are lost last. My only concern was that she might get lost when driving in unfamiliar areas.

Before the dementia, she could remember how to get to places she’d driven to once 10 years ago. She could tell of a conversation held months before what was said, who said it, how they said it, where they sat as if she was still there.

The memory skill is gone now with things she remembers that took place 40 years ago as recent as a few months now. She struggles to make sense of her world and fills in with what she remembers applying to what is happening now. I’ve told her about her issue. She denies it but I think she has a sense of it and it scares her. I don’t correct her anymore. I just make sure she is at ease.

On January 14, I was slated to have bariatric surgery at Kaiser in West L.A. and April drove me down. The surgery went well but when I awoke from the anesthesia it felt like I was having another heart attack like my first january 28, 2013. I rang for the nurse who informed the doctor. They ran a few tests then transported me to Cedars-Sinai nearby for a procedure.

The surgeons entered my arm vein and explored the arteries of my heart. They found two partially blocked arteries but not blocked enough to clear them up.

Ultimately, the claimed I had a ‘heart event’ and supposed that my blood pressure was so low due to the anesthesia that there was not enough pressure to get through the partially blocked arteries so my heart suffered a kind of ‘heart starvation’ that gave me the symptoms I felt. There were some raised levels of enzymes that indicated there was a heart stress so I wasn’t imagining it.

This kept me from rejoining Kathy for 3 extra days so April filled in for me taking off work to help out by staying with Kathy until I could return and take care of her. Kathy is able to function in the present but vascular dementia is considered incurable and progressive. That does not stop me from doing as much as possible to stave off the degeneration to come for as long as possible.

My businesses, the Computer Tutor and Tutors 4 Computers must take a back seat to caretaking my wife as she enters this stage of her life. I am trying to take care of her and still be available to my students and clients. I wrote my long-time clients to let them know I would be out of the area and unavailable in person but that I could work with them remotely over the Internet.

Should they need a personal visit, I’ve offered them my friend and excellent computer tech, Marc Chroman. I’ve sent him out a few times at this writing and my students are not calling me much anymore.

I will have to find a way to live without my income as Kathy’s needs increase. I am already spending 90% of my time caring for her needs. I keep pushing away the idea that I should feel some self-pity since it only highlights the loneliness and isolation that doesn’t serve any purpose other than to make life more difficult.

Instead, I try to focus on the gift of spending time with my wife. I am grateful to still have times when we can laugh and share moments of joy as we explore our world. She tells me daily how she loves the places we go and how beautiful the lakes, rivers, trees and skies are.

Kathy’s child-like thrills on seeing something amazingly beautiful lifts my spirit along with hers. She had always claimed that she wanted to be the wind beneath my wings and now she really is.