Kiss of a Lifetime

The restaurant hosting my high school’s 15 year reunion was buzzing with patrons. The aroma of fine dishes permeated the air. San Pedro’s Ports O’ Call edges the bay where sailboats can tie up to the dock and hungry sailors can enter the restaurant and enjoy fine dining behind large panoramic windows overlooking the bay.

I wasn’t there for the food that day. I was hungry to see old high school friends and catch up on their lives. Secretly, the one I wanted to see the most was a sweet, petite girl friend I never quite stopped loving.

I was an emotional mess. The harsh reality was that I was separated from my wife after a long period of emotional isolation. I knew I would have to really work at saving my marriage. But tonight was about seeing old friends and reminiscing about better times, leaving the reality of the present behind for at least this night.

I signed in and picked up my name tag. As I entered the ballroom, the music and laughter swept away my gloom as I started to recognize my old friends. I could feel a huge smile forming on my face and wondered where it had been hiding for so many months.

I laughed out loud when I noticed big round tables and standing groups of the same people who would gather in similar groups at lunch time on the quad. We called those groups cliques – maybe they’re still called that – I don’t know.

Any doubts I had about attending a high school reunion vanished. I was feeling joy for the first time in a very long time. I really needed this.

Suddenly, as if in a dream where dreams come true, that sweet, petite now woman was walking toward me with a determined stride. I smiled and open my arms expecting a friendly hug. Instead, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me the most incredible kiss of my life. Her body and mine collided. Our legs and hips and torso melded together like a living sculpture. The kiss itself was simultaneously electrifying and calming. It was a long kiss but probably no more than 10 seconds and yet for those moments, time stood still and my gray life was filled with color. Both joy and peace reverberated through my body, my soul.

That kiss made me realize that we belonged together. My sense of real-life however, knew that our relationship was an impossibility. She was with her fiancé and I was married with children so I allowed that event to become a bittersweet memory of unrequited love.

We spent the evening talking and dancing and laughing and I tried not to be exclusive to her or upset her fiancé because I didn’t want to ruin whatever chance she might have for happiness since our relationship was not possible.

We kept in touch for a time through her wedding and the birth of her first child and then I lost track of her.

In the subsequent years, I was divorced and remarried.

I was hopeful that she was happily married and I didn’t think that I would be able to track her down even if I were free to do so.

The kiss haunted me. Memories of that kiss would flood my mind in the night stillness. I had no idea how she might still feel for me or if she had moved on as we should have done. I forced myself to let go.

I was not successful.

Then the Internet and social media came into being and I found myself connecting with old friends. It was a fun time to rediscover classmates and friends who had moved away.

Then on Classmates, there she was. 17 years had passed since that unforgettable kiss. I really wanted to connect but I was again married and assumed she was too. So I resisted.

Almost 30 minutes later, I gave in.

We met and talked about our lives and our feelings for each other. I was committed to my marriage and she was divorced.

We committed to stay connected to each other and grew to love each other on so many levels respecting each other’s commitments but staying close.

True love can be patient and breathless at the same time. It can be passionate yet cozy; vibrant and soothing. Love can manifest like a deep slow river or crashing waves on the rocks. Real love encompasses all the best of life.

Today the gentle breeze could barely rustle the leaves on the trees and it was peaceful. Tonight, the howling wind echoes my passion.

The kiss of a lifetime convinced me that love endures.