Full Circle

Back in Acton and busy with Kathy bed-bound and getting the legal stuff done. Just fixed the air conditioner with the help of a local boy. Went to an all-day healing seminar while Kathy had a hired wife-sitter. Expensive but worthwhile. I feel more centered.

I need to let go of so much now and strive to be present and ready for inevitable change. I have the chance to redesign the rest of my life so I have been pensive and introspective.

I've learned:

• How to be alone without being lonely.

• To take on less so I can breathe more.

• To sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and see the people around me go through their dramas and be glad I have no part in them.

In brief, I am tired of being responsible for and to anyone and look forward, at the end of my grief, to being free to do and be as the moment strikes me.

I will seek no approvals or permissions and make no promises. I am accustomed to missing those I love so missing is no longer an issue with me.

I'm back to the beginning it seems, where I want to take the waves as they come not waiting for the one spectacular wave to remember.

As I become more aware of the setting sun of my life, I more urgently pay attention to each wave as it forms and approaches.

I crave one more ride transporting me to shore.

I crave the moment I become part of the ocean's undulating motion.

I crave the wave.

Now there's a T-shirt slogan.